If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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