How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
