I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
