Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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