Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
You're like the curious george of whores
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
My vagina is very pro this idea
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
