I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Hippo gnu deer
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
