just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize
