I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize