Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
