thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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