I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
