Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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