I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
