I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
