:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
