i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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