i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
