Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize