Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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