Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
