He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online