Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.