But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
