Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
