I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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