you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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