Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
