we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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