he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
