if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
