I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Is Oprah even human
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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