Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Found the puke drawer
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
