Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
