whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
