I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
