imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
My dad just said "fuck circus"
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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