i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
