Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
