i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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