Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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