maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
