THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize