I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
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