Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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