Are we in a gay sports bar?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
