I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
