he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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