so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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