Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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