Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
