I think my vagina is haunted
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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