careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Boobs speak an international language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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