i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Are these your boobs on my camera?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
