she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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