How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
