Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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