Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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