like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
