I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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