dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
