I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
