And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
