You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
